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SIMON CHILEMBO FOR PRESIDENT!

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JOB APPLICATION

Simon Chilembo, 2013

Simon Chilembo, 2013

 I hereby apply for a job as pioneer professional Chief Executive President of an African country. I wish to take on the entire African continent, actually.

MOTIVATION

I want to restore the long lost dignity and honour of African people in the world. It’s time I take charge in order that one morning before I die, I’ll wake up and shout out to the world not only I AM AN AFRICAN!, but, I am a PROUD African! At this expression of elation, the earth shall move, and dance under my feet.

I want to turn Africa around. Under my professional, corporate style leadership, Africans will be a model of freedom and human decency in time. People of the world will come to Africa to taste, and learn about, freedom as an innate human quality and attribute. There’ll be no more WE WANT FREEDOM …/ WE ARE FREE … songs and all. Africa will be a symbol of freedom itself. African people will be living manifestations of what freedom means for humanity: ABUNDANCE. Africans will be at home in Africa, welcome anytime, anywhere in the world. This will make me proud.

I am not proud I am an African. I am not proud of being an African. Today. Being the proudest Black Man I know does not make me proud of going around with the African tag engrossing my entire being permanently. How I personally feel, and think, about myself do not, and cannot, alienate me from being an African man, first and foremost. I am not a cosmetic African. I make, design, and live my world as an internally free, proud Black Man. When I confront the external, non-African world, the most likely initial reactions to my presence, that seen from a historical perspective, will be in association with fear-of-the-unknown, evil, hostility, hunger, misery, ignorance, disease, and much more. I have travelled the world, so I know.

Africans are the least respected people on earth. This is a collective curse, I dare say. When everyone else is hammered out through and through, the very last person to take it out on is an African. Every South African familiar with apartheid will attest to this. Many Africans out in the diaspora will sure have their own stories to tell about this, for generations. Thanks to the ever-pathetic African political leadership throughout history.

African people are ever the most betrayed, the most abused by their own leaders. Africans are probably the-most-sold-to-slavery-people on earth, for all times. Africans are the least protected people by their own leaders on earth. If, and when, I die I die. But I do go round pondering how the likelihood is higher that, for my provocative utterances, I may just be taken out by own African political leaders. Strange, but White Supremacists don’t worry me that much in that regard. They’ve had licence to kill in Africa for so long. I see them come from a distance. And I can kill too. I’m only human, like everyone else, ultimately. People are animals. Animals kill and die all the time. That’s life. Who can respect us, Africans, then? Who can ever take us seriously anywhere in the world, then? “You want to feed these hungry niggers? Feed them in Africa! …” said an irate citizen of another country of the world not long ago, protesting against the presence of African refugees, who’ll contaminate the host county’s purity, if allowed to stay. God just looks on. Passive. And the only thing we could do was cry, “Racists! Racists! …!!!”  Our political leadership across Africa does not move even the little finger. I want to change all this.

With superior modern Corporate Governance principles I can turn Africa, and the African mentality of self-destruction, around. Under my well-honed professional leadership, African people will cease to run away from wars and the attendant miseries of these often greed-inspired civil wars. I will run Africa like a well-oiled, impersonal commercial and industrial machine. I will bring Nivarna to Africa. No one will have to do anything extreme to ensure right of passage into heaven because I’ll bring heaven here on earth, in Africa. Corporate Governance Ethics make no allowances for endless supply of nubile virgins and the like, unfortunately. In my Corporate Governance managed Africa, you want it, you work for it, you get rewarded accordingly, in real terms. And you live to enjoy the glory. Share. Produce more. Grow. Develop. Co-exist. Be a role model. Make the world a better place to live for all, with mutual respect, dignity, and honour.

Give me the job!

TERMS

  • REMUNERATION
    Zero. I feel so strongly about this I’ll work for free. Since I am single, with no children, cats, and dogs, I can live just fine with a subsistence allowance enabling me to buy shaving creams, and other such personal vanity things of my own. Special requests as below, though.
  • Fringe benefits
    – Food.
    Not too fussy about food; just it’s clean and nutritious. Organic vegetarian food even better, where/ when possible. I cook. Red Wine, doesn’t have to be Italian. Wouldn’t harm from time to time, though.
    Top class Health & Wellness facilities, as well as services. I can train auxiliary personnel myself.
    Wardrobe doesn’t have to be Armani, or Tom Ford. But no harm if so.
    – Get back my gold Rolex (NO diamond studs, please!).
    – When the Mercedes is back, it’ll have been upgraded to S Class. Maybach, or Maserati wouldn’t harm either. This category not so crucial, but could be real cool if fulfilled. I don’t need a driver.
    Absolutely not necessary with a palace for accommodation/ official residence. I already have an okay place to stay. Need not more than R 200 000,- (two hundred thousand Rand only) for any upgrading work. Since I live alone, not necessary with extensive security detail. And given that I’ll be the best African people’s Chief Executive President ever, the people will want to interact with me at a much higher degree than it happens in Africa today, anyway. The people shall protect me.
  • DURATION
    30 years. Immediate dismissal without compensation the moment I falter, screw up, or fail to deliver. No strikes, protests and all that time- and resource-wasting crap. If I, for whatever reason, with sticks and primitive, African traditional weapons decide to attack a policeman armed with modern assault and protective armour, shoot me down at once. It’ll be a mortal sin for any one not to use their brains in my corporate style managed Africa.
  • DUTY COMMENCEMENT
    Today.

With confidence,

Simon Chilembo
Welkom
South Africa
Tel: +27 717 454 115
October 25, 2013

 

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2 Comments

  1. […] give me that job – Pioneer Professional Chief Executive President of Africa. Ma-a-an, will I fire people, to begin […]

  2. […] Europe. So miserable is the real African condition for many of its people in their own countries. Still no movement of even the little finger from African leaders. Embarrassing. Shameful. Disgusting. Africa unite? Bullshit talk in African Union summit this […]

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